The general topsy-turvy feeling that has been the state of our world for the past 6 months seems to be magnified by this succession of grey, rainy days we’ve had in the Midwest. Even the way we are experiencing stress has shifted. Prior to this worldwide pandemic, our burnout was from going 100mph all the time, rushing from this thing to that. So initially, the stay-at-home slowdown was a healing salve for our open energetic wound. Now, it seems that the perpetual work-from-home situation (no doubt intensified by many of our kids learning virtually) has tipped our stress scales out of balance once again. What to do?
Today, I developed a headache and backache. Even after the short school week, where I support my second-grader and do a loose preschool with my four-and-a-half year old, I was pooped. I have had copious amounts of coffee, essentially no plain water to drink, and very few fruits and vegetables. Predictably, I’ve felt lethargic and unmotivated, both as a result of what I was/wasn’t putting in my body as well as from the constant rain that has brought a Kapha energy to the earth (and my buns as they sink into the couch…🥴 ) (If you aren’t sure what Kapha energy is, you can learn more about the awesome practice of Ayurveda here.) Clearly, I was in need of some activities in the name of self-care.
“Self-care” has become a catch phrase within the wellness industry in the past five-ish years. It’s also become a great way to market to those of us who feel overworked, overstressed, and under-rested. What has confused me lately, though, is how activities can be deemed unworthy of being called self-care. Surprise, surprise – media delivers us mixed messages: “You don’t need to go get a mani-pedi to offer yourself self-care; healing can be found in a nice hot shower.” “How ridiculous that a hot shower is deemed ‘self-care’ – a shower is a basic activity! Self-care should be special.” …So now, I’m not only falling short on delivering my self-care, but I’m also confused about what is considered an appropriate self-care practice. For the love of Pete!
So, for what it’s worth, here’s what I think. I think self-care [should maybe be a drinking game, since I’ve said it so much]…is simply an act of doing something that brings you peace, joy, and/or balance. There are no qualifiers or parameters. It may cost money or nothing at all. What makes your act of self-care special is the mindfulness you have while doing it. If cupping your mug of hot chocolate with both hands while breathing in the scented steam brings a sense of calm – do that! If wandering Target and buying something for yourself brings you happiness – go for it! You love a nice, long, hot shower? Jump in.
Before you choose something to balance yourself, consider what would be most meaningful to you. Not only will you have a personal preference for certain activities, but the sort of stress that you’re dealing with will likely lend itself to a particular activity. (For example, when my kids were both really little and highly demanding of my attention and physical presence, I was less inclined to want snuggles as a source of balance). Here are some things I’ve done today and in the past week as acts of self-love:
- Drank hot peppermint tea (and used my favorite cast iron tea kettle which made me happy)
- Snuggled with my preschooler as he drifted off to a midday nap (complete with white noise, rainy day, quiet house😍)
- Roasted zucchini, red pepper, and green onions with EVOO, S+P for lunch (I know it sounds too healthy to be indulgent, but trust – delish)
- Made pumpkin bread with our generous neighbors’ homegrown sugar pumpkin (@detoxinista’s recipe is A-MAZ-ING)
- OM-ed via Instagram with my yoga friend, Jill (did you know it’s made of three sounds? ah-oo-mm Draw each one out – I love to linger on MM)
- Indulged in a hot shower to wake up (SO needed after the fall rain made me chilled to my bones)
- Practiced some asana (the physical postures of yoga) to especially help my back, hips, and cranky neck
- Carved out time to read Black is the Body: Stories From My Grandmother’s Time, My Mother’s Time, and Mine by Emily Bernard
- Straightened my hair (my hair NOT pulled back happens about 10 times per year, so this was a special treat)
- Decorated for fall (I legitimately said to my husband, “I’m going to decorate fall right now because it will make me happy.”)
- Requested a shoulder massage from 👆🏼
How are you feeling right now? What do you need in order to bring balance to your life? How can you incorporate moments of self-care into your day/week? It doesn’t need to be a big production or effort; often, the smallest act of self-care can have lasting impact on how we are living our daily lives.
Love. Always.
Linds